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About Houston

So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ like I own Wall Street, tryna figure this mess out. I’m thinkin’, “This some high-class nonsense right here!” You got girls postin’ ads online, slick as Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. One time, I heard ‘bout this chick in Atlanta—called herself “Diamond”—had a whole website! Reviews and all, like she a dang Yelp restaurant! I hollered, “Halleluyer! She got five stars for what?!” Made me madder than a wet hen—why folks out here ratin’ THAT? But I was impressed too, gotta admit. She was hustlin’ harder than Belfort snortin’—you know what—off a table!

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There's a sneaky river, the Intracoastal Waterway, slippin' by the town. Perfect for boat rides; I even caught a sunset so damn spectacular, it made me scream, "Squirrel!" Yeah, that’s how wild it gets sometimes. And man, don’t even get me started on the parks! Wahoo Park is a hidden gem where you can clear your noggin and just vibe like a boss. I used to carry my stress away there after a heavy day at the parlor.

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