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About Philadelphia

So, I’m dodgin sketchy humans, all “R2, ya little git, help me!” Streets smell like piss and regret—lovely, innit? Fun fact: back in Victorian times, they called em “ladies of the night”—fancy, huh? None of that posh crap now, just straight-up “yo, how much?” vibes. I’m ragin, cos some sleemo tries rippin me off—50 credits for a quickie? Mate, I’m a droid, I don’t even—ugh, humans are gross! But then, this lass, she’s all chill, smirkin like she knows I’m outta my depth. “We’re a team,” she says, like in the movie—cracked me up, cos I’m like, “Team? I’m a flippin protocol droid!”

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So yeah, Tehachapi (us) is cool. It’s grungy, it’s artsy, and it’s got surprises behind every corner. If ya visit, swing by my place on Railroad Ave, soak the vibes at Juniper Park, and wander through those narrow backstreets where life feels raw and real. And remember—no capes, ever!

‘Miss Tehachapi’ pageant on Sunday, May 4, at BeeKay Theatre