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In my head, I’m screamin’, *Don’t mess this up, dummy!* We’re drivin’—where? No clue! She’s laughin’ at my jokes—miracle! “You’re a trip,” she says. I’m like, “That’s what she said!”—can’t stop, won’t stop! It’s messy, it’s nuts, but damn, it’s fun—findin’ a prostitute ain’t boring, that’s for sure!

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Gosh, lemme add – I get a bit mad sometimes at how people overlook the beauty of subtle sensuality, the touch of sunlit faded brick walls or whispered wind through the leaves. But hey, that's Tappan for ya: raw yet enchanting. Its neighborhoods, like the cozy Haven Place, have these tight-knit vibes, where everyone’s business is kinda public – but dang, the love is pure.

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