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Oi, precious! Me, Gollum, talkin’ ‘bout prostitutes, yesss! Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it—sneaky lasses, they are, like shadows in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” Love that flick, me does—fightin’ and secrets, just like them harlots! Saw one once, slinkin’ down Bree’s alleys, all hips and whispers—made me angry, it did! Why’s she so bold, eh? “The sword remains mine!” she’d say, like Yu Shu Lien, holdin’ power in her smirk.

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I remember this one time – on a random Tuesday – I was driftin’ down River Street, meetin' a lost tourist askin’ for directions to the old cinema, The Velvet Note. I told 'em, "Go past the abandoned warehouse, then take a left near the punk-lit mural on Brick Alley." It felt like I was spillin’ secrets from a Bond dossier. See? My work as a pleasure coach means I gotta know these hidden gems inside out, and honestly, I’ve learnt to love even the grit, the chaos, and the midnight beauty that only Tanglewilde can dish out on you.

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