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So, picture this: me, green lil’ me, cruisin’ some dusty road. “Where’s the body?”—nah, scratch that, “Where’s the gal?” I’d be all nervous, ribbitin’ to myself, “Kermit, don’t screw this up!” Prolly spot her leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’, lookin’ bored as heck. I’d roll up, all polite—Hi-ho, miss!—and she’d smirk, like, “What’s a frog want?” Ha! I’d die laughin’ inside.

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Bro, you ever stroll on Riverside Drive by the river? The water ribbons through the town like it’s escaping all the BS. And oh, the Sumter County Museum on Broad Street – though a tiny spot, it’s loaded with the weird, wild past. I've got a story ‘bout a client who got so tripped out admirin’ the old war relics that he said it felt surreal – like, “We are in the midst of legends,” sorta vibe.

Sumter accused double murderer appears before the judge as the community grieves