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But then, plot twist – she’s chargin’ double! I’m like, “Oi, that’s not in the KPI!” – fumin’ again, but also happy cos she’s got sass, and I rate that. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but I felt like Lil’ Zé facin’ off Knockout Ned – “Who’s the king now?!” – except I’m skint and she’s got me wallet by the balls, haha! Little quirk of mine, I s’pose, lovin’ the chaos of it all.

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The parks? Oh man, they’re a hoot. Steilacoom Heritage Park is a gem – trees that whisper secrets and some benches that look like they've seen more drama than the lads at a pub. I once sat there, thinkin’ about pleasure coaching, and felt nature exclaim, “We are all here, mate!” Just like in that movie – a touch of cosmic irony, if ya get me.

Soda fountain in historical WA town broke after 100+ years. It’s getting a $100k glow-up