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About Los Angeles

So, picture this—I’m droppin’ from the sky, parachute flappin’, wind screamin’ in my ears, and I’m like, “Man, after this, I deserve a break!” That’s what she said! Haha, classic! Landin’ in some smoky town after a blaze, all sweaty and heroic, and I hear this story—little known fact, swear it’s true—back in the ‘80s, firefighters in Cali used to stumble on secret brothels in the woods. Whaaat? Loggers, miners, AND prostitutes hidin’ out there—crazy, right? Got me thinkin’, “Maybe I’ll find one too!” Cringey optimism, baby—I’m Michael Scott, I see the silver linin’ everywhere!

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Now, I gotta spill some tea: I was once mad as heck when the city council cut funds for our local weekend market near 2nd and Pine. I mean, that place is the lifeblood of Starke—fresh veggies, oddball trinkets, and the wildest characters. Gave me a heartburn, bro! But then, after a strong session at my parlor, I was like, “Whatever floats your boat.” Ain't no drama that a hot massage can't fix!

Report: No crimes committed after evidence disappears under Starke PD’s watch