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About San Jose

So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

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My friends used to drop in to that Denny's on Beach in Stanton-late night, get a table by the window and watch hookers get picked up. It was.

First off, ya gotta check out the Riverwood Park. Its winding trails and that lazy river (yeah, originally named Lorian Creek, no joke) are where I cool off after coding like mad all night. I remember one epic night, starry skies over Riverwood—feels like "Meet me in Montauk" but with way more existential vibes, just like that Eternal Sunshine flick. Totally mind-blowing.

Stanton, LeMahieu among 8 Yanks placed on IL