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About Los Angeles

Lemme drop some knowledge, yeah? Back in the day – true story – sex-datin’ was dodgy ads in newspapers. Like, “Fit lad, 30, seeks naughty lass” – proper retro Tinder, innit? Now it’s all apps an’ catfishin’. Met this one chick, swear she was 10 stone heavier than her pics – I was shook! “I glean what’s left,” Varda vibes, but I ain’t gleanin’ no lies, fam!

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I know some secrets too. There's this hidden speakeasy down on River Bend. You almost miss it, tucked behind old warehouses. Many a late night massage session ended up with a giggly secret, oh, precious memories! Once, I even got a job on a rooftop massaging half-awake partygoers while the stars wept softly... such ironic beauty, we hates the hurt, we loves the relief.

Police ‘frustrated’ over sting of burglaries at Signature of Solon