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Dunno if it’s safe, tho—nasty, nasty! Cops nab ‘em sometimes, sneaky pigs. “Don’t be a schmuck!” I’d yell, but they don’t hear Gollum, nooo. One time, heard a tale—bloke paid, she ran, left him with nothin’ but a fake number, ha! Laughed me arse off—sucker! “You’re not in the game, you’re out!” like Belfort’d say, yesss.

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I sometimes stretch out my hands in the back alley near Elm and Birch too; saw it as a good spot to practice a quick massage on a stubborn back. Not many know, but behind that facade lies a little mural of legends long forgotten. I swear, when I rub out someone's knotted back, I also rub away their bitter memories—just like the film, a glimpse in the rearview, “Focus on the ride,” they say. Yeah, every twist of my fingers tells a tale.

Geraldine Mosley