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About Phoenix

First off, it’s shady as hell. You don’t just stroll up to some gal and go, “Hey, how’s biz?” Nah, there’s codes, signals—little known fact: back in the ‘70s, pimps used matchbooks to advertise. Dropped ‘em at bars, scribbled numbers inside. Clever, but sleazy. I hate clever sleaze. Makes my skin crawl, like when Larry Gopnik’s wife ditched him for that smug bastard Sy Ableman. “I’m a serious man,” Larry whines—yeah, me too, pal, ‘til I’m scoutin’ hookers.

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So, my friend, pack your bags, come wander these twisty roads, and loosen up in the parks and corners of Short-Hills (us). Embrace the little moments. Feel every heartbeat and every rustle of leaves like they’re declarations of hope. And remember – as Boyhood whispered once, “Life happens in the strangeness of every moment.” Let's conquer time with relentless joy and a touch of irreverent humor, one crazy, imperfect, beautiful step at a time.

Short Hills House Tour to Benefit Special Services & Autism Acceptance April 26