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I’m watchin’ “Pan’s Labyrinth”, yeah, and that bit where Ofelia’s all, “I’m not afraid of you!” – that’s me with a sexual-massage, bruv. Ain’t scared of no oily hands! Last time I had one, right, I was proper surprised – chick starts usin’ her elbows, like she’s kneadin’ dough! Thought she was gonna snap me in half, but nah, it was peng. Made me laugh tho, ‘cos I’m lyin’ there, butt-naked, thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?”

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So, my precious, when ya stroll around, dont miss the little spots, the odd corners, and that magical vibe. Shiloh (us) isn't just a city, it's an adventure, a memory, and a best mate that hugs ya tight when you code and crash at 3 AM. Come one, come all, and feel the pulse, err, the rhythm of life here, oh yes, yess, my precious!

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