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Oh, but den—surprise!—she starts talkin’ ‘bout her pet ferret, Kevin, and I’m like, “A ferret? Dat’s my kinda crazy!” Almost wanna hire her just fer da story, ya know? “Roxanne” vibes kick in—dat tango of shady deals and heart! I’m laughin’, picturin’ me and her and Kevin stormin’ da Moulin stage, minions clappin’ like loons.

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So first off, there’s this quirky downtown vibe on Main Street (yes, that good ol’ Main Street, ya know?) where every brick tells a story. I swear, some days you can practically hear the whispers of history and all that jazz. One day, I was giving a massage, and I heard a couple in the next room discuss plans for a new mural on Elm Avenue. Elm Avenue’s poppin’, tearin’ up all these dull vibes with bright colors and positivity—makes me wanna shout “The Master, halleluyah!”

H.S. Boys Basketball: Shamokin dominant in state opener