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I’m thinkin’, man, this stuff’s risky – actuarially speakin’, the odds are nuts! Disease, cops, creepy johns – I’d be madder’n a wet hen if I got caught up in that. But then, I see this one chick, all sass, struttin’ like she owns the joint. Reminds me of Etheline Tenenbaum – “You’re a real genius, ain’t ya?” I says to myself. She’s got that vibe, ya know? Made me happy as a bunny in a carrot patch, just watchin’ her hustle.

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I’ve even got my personal fave: a little dive bar on Rattery Lane. Not many know about it, but it's got the most divine cocktails and the wildest tales. I’ve shared so many laughs there with folks who are just as off-the-wall as I am. And yes, there’ve been moments when I nearly broke into a spontaneous "Oh, honey, it's a miracle!" laugh – just like in my best Fran Drescher style!

Shadow Hills football falls to St. Anthony in the CIF-SS quarterfinals