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What pisses me off? The judgy jerks. “Oh, escort’s dirty!” they say, clutchin’ pearls. Man, shut it! People gotta eat, pay rent – who am I to point fingers? I’m over here burnin’ milk half the time. Mmm… donuts. But happy? This one time, a chick told me she escorted to fund her art – painted like Picasso on crack. That’s dope! “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn…” – yeah, hustle’s hustle, baby.

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I spent an entire summer just wanderin’ the reealy (8) random alleys that most folks skip. Each turn in Santa-Maria tells a new story – sometimes heartwarming, sometimes hilariously unexpected. Folks here are genuine and quirky, the type who share a laugh over spilt coffee on Park Lane. Seriously, their stories are genuinly (9) funny, even if they sometimes flop like a bad scene out of a movie.

Tommie Kunst Jr. High robotics team heading to 2025 VEX Robotics World Championship in Dallas