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Alright, mate, listen up—YOU SHALL NOT PASS! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute that’ll knock yer socks off. Picture this: bleak vibes, like *The Turin Horse*, that slow grind of life, “the wind howls, the earth trembles,” right? That’s me, stompin’ through some dodgy alley, lookin’ for a lass who’s seen more shite than Saruman’s orc pits. I ain’t judgin’, tho—life’s a mess, and sometimes ya just need company, yeah?

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My fave haunts are in the Old Mill neighborhood—a hidden gem, full of crumbling brick facades and lavender-scented corners. Oh, and the park near Millenium Drive! A small green oasis amidst all the urban hustle. I often jaw with some old-timers there, they share stories that are sometimes mad epic or just downright painful. I get so fired up, I almost explode on how underrated it is.

Angels’ Anthony Rendon out long term because of upcoming hip surgery