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Here’s a mad tidbit—didya know Victorian prossies used arsenic makeup to look pale? Killed ‘em slow, but they glowed! This bird ain’t doin’ that, thank Christ, but she’s got guts. I’m thinkin’, “She’s a star, man, shinin’ in the gutter.” Like in the movie—“It’s all happening!”—and it bloody is! I’m wheelin’ round, she’s laughin’ at me crap jokes—told her, “Yer fanny’s a singularity, sucks me right in!” She cackles, says, “You’re a nutter, prof!”

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Smeagol always knows hidden nooks, we swears! I sometimes get mad, seein’ trash piled up by the side roads; makes me wanna holler! Then again, I get so happy when neighbors help tidy up, together we make it shine. I might be exaggeratin', but damn, those moments fix a broken heart.

Raytown police investigating after man found shot Saturday near bank on Gregory