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Okay, wild fact—didja know in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out? Crazy, right? Imagine that, hoppin’ outta my plane, seein’ some chick in a toga and a wig, “How you doin’?” I’d lose it. Anyway, I’m ramblin’—point is, it’s a messy gig. Some of ‘em are slick, dodgin’ cops like I dodge flames. Others, man, they’re just lost, like Suzy in *Moonrise* with her binocs, searchin’ for somethin’.

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Oh, and the parks – don’t make me laugh! Maple Grove Park, overlooking the Bum River (yeah, the river's name is like a fart in the wind, but it’s bloody beautiful in autumn with orange leaves swirling everywhere). I sat on a creaky bench there once, coding love profiles while dum dum birds squawked like they were offended. Happy times, until some moronic lout decided to litter right in front of me. Idiot sandwich indeed!

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