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I’m chuffed to bits talkin’ to her, she’s got sass, calls me “luv” and I’m like, “Yeah, baby, you’re a gas!” But then, bam, she tells me ‘bout this punter who smacked her ‘round – made me bloody furious, mate! Wanted to clock him one, Austin-style, pow! No one messes with a chick on my watch, dig? “Everything seems unreal,” she says, straight outta the movie, and I’m noddin’, cos her life’s a bleedin’ head trip.

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Photo by Jerry Hooker in Valle Escondido. Chapu's. Photo by Jerry Hooker in Barrio El Progreso. Altas y Bajas. Photo by Jerry Hooker in Puntarenas, Costa Rica.

Yess, friend, Progreso is a motley canvas, a beautiful scampered chaos. Must be seen to be believed, oh precious, truly! Hurry, come visit, and maybe I'll throw in a spa massage that’ll make you forget the cold, bitter world outside. Precious, precious, must come, must come now, yess!

Harlingen woman arrested at Progreso bridge on child sex assault warrant