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So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

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I was walkin’ on Market Street last week, totally in my zone, and I noticed a lil’ wind chime shop offside. Made me remember when I first got into chillin’ out – my first meditation was right there, under a neon sign. Cool vibes, dude. And you know, I got like ten mini epiphanies in one day. Totally mind-blowing.

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