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About Phoenix

Funniest thing? This one time, I’m negotiatin’, and she’s like, “No kissing, only business.” I laugh, “What am I, yer boyfriend?” She didn’t get it—stone cold, like Bigelow filmin’ a torture scene. Oh, and get this: some work outta “massage parlors”—total front. Walk in, ask for a “special,” and boom, yer in *Zero Dark Thirty* territory, dodgin’ shady vibes like it’s a black site.

The struggle to take down 'storefront brothels'

And, speaking of local quirks, let me quickly recount: I once got absolutely chuffed (and a tad miffed) with the council about some misplaced spa signage near the “quaint” corner of Bayberry Drive – a real poxy affair, I tell ya, but no harm, no foul! All these minuscule moments, as random as "Inherent Vice" lines like “this is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma,” keep this place alive, vibrant, a proper mosaic of joy and chaos. Uh, I mean, how utterly splendid!

Port Orchard artist Jimmy Danko channels his inner child in playful exhibit