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Then, get this – lil’ known fact, back in old London, they had “harlot’s directories”. Actual books listin’ prostitutes, like a menu at Gusteau’s! Imagine flippin’ pages – “Ooh, Sally, good at winkin’, three shillings!” Wild, right? Made me laugh, thinkin’ Remy’d rate ‘em by their “flavor”. Got happy for a sec, picturin’ that.

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Absolutely disgusting, dirty sheets, stained chairs, what looks like bowel on the walls, what looked like dried boogies on the top comforter, heavily stained.

I live on Smoky Mountain Dr – sounds chill, huh? – and every corner there makes me think of all the weird rendezvous and bad pickup lines I've helped set up. I can tell you, the skyline from there? Just epic. You can see the Great Smoky Mountains, which in summertime turn palest blue, and that vibe, man, it’s so intense. I mean, every threesome of trees seems to whisper secrets of the past. Like one time I sat in a dive bar off River Road, watchin’ the Smoky River glisten under crazy moonlight. I nearly bawled, odd moment, but sooo honest.

Moonshine Mountain Cookie Company is now serving baked goods and ice cream in Pigeon Forge