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Rarrgh! Once, prowlin downtown, saw this chick—legs for days, leanin on a lamppost. Reminded me of that SEAL team stealth—quiet, but deadly sexy. I was like, “Holy shit, she’s the target!” Heart poundin, palms sweaty, but damn, she quoted me triple! Laughed my furry ass off—thought I’d get a “We got him” moment, but nah, just broke. Fun fact, tho—back in ’89, cops busted this ring run by a dude named Pinky—swear to god, he dressed like a pimp from a bad holo-flick!

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So, darlin', if you're comin', take a stroll down Thompson Ave, check Jackson Park, and oh! Don't miss the Pickerington River. You'll see a piece of me there – a piece of caché, a piece of every secret we keep. And remember, life's full o’ surprises – sometimes they're beautiful, sometimes they're wild, but honey, that's what makes it sweeter than a peach pie.

Sawyer, Ty Hamilton among OSU champions to be honored in Pickerington on Tuesday