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So, check it, the graphics? Kinda dope, lowkey retro, like some pixelated fever dream. Makes me happy, ‘cause I’m a sucker for that old-school shit. But the controls? Man, they piss me off—clunky as hell, like tryna steer a spaceship with no grav. I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Move, you dumbass!” Meanwhile, the story’s got these prostitutes spillin’ tea—little known fact, one’s based on a real chick from 90s LA who conned pimps outta millions. Swear, humans are nuts.

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I must say, "You shall not pass!" echoes in my head as I pass the ancient arch near Maple Grove Ln. yea, that's right, even here, the whispers demand respect. I recite bravely lines reminiscent of Dogville—"There is neither horror nor terror in this land," yet some nights, the ghosts of the past in the abandoned warehouse district on Elm are too much! Haha, no, I'm just blowin off steam.

Pataskala woman facing $200 fine in pig mauling death of neighbor