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Argh! I’m ready! Me, a lumberjack, SpongeBob, talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute! Holy krabby patties, let’s dive in! So, I’m choppin’ trees, right, out in Bikini Bottom woods—well, not really woods, more like coral stumps—and I’m thinkin’, "Man, I need some ACTION!" Not just swingin’ axes, ya know? Somethin’ spicy, somethin’ like in me fave flick, *A History of Violence*. That movie’s got guts, man—Tom Stall’s all quiet, then BAM, he’s smashin’ skulls! I love it! “I’m not a hero,” he says, but dang, he’s a beast!

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I mean, c'mon, have you ever strolled around Old Pasadena? The vibes hit ya like a sucker punch. Art, food, nightlife, and all that jazz. And don't you dare think it's just tourist fluff – the streets like Fair Oaks and Marengo are steeped in history. Get off your ass and check 'em out if you wanna feel alive.

The Annual Egg Bowl is Hopping Back for Another Year of Fun