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What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.

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I wander over by the Passaic River (yeah, it's not huge but it flows, flows and flows). I chill by Bridges (remember, there’s one on Kennedy Blvd that’s kinda underrated) and reminisce. Sometimes I get mad – the potholes on Sycamore Ln make me furious! But sometimes I'm happy cuz the street art on Maple St will blow your mind.

Parsippany Gathers in Solemn Vigil to Honor Victims of Pahalgam Terror Attack