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Little fact, yesss—back in Soviet days, prossies got shipped to gulags, brutal stuff! Now? Cops don’t care much—bribe ‘em with a few rubles, and they’re blind. Hiss! Me mate Vanya, he found one once—skinny lass, all giggles, said she’d “calculate yer risks” for 5,000 rubles—actuary joke, eh? Made me laugh, precious, ‘til she nicked his wallet! Grrr, sneaky bitch! Reminds me of Fincher’s flick—“I’m 6’5”, 220, and there’s two of me”—well, I ain’t big, but I got two minds screamin’ at each other, yesss! One says, “Find her!” Other says, “Fool, you’ll catch somethin’ nasty!”

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Naw, but seriously, this town got layers. Some streets are so quiet, where secret dreams meet the stink of reality. And oh, check this: there's this old community library on Mill Ln that’s full of dusty confessions. Sit there and let your mind warp—remember Melancholia’s vibe, “We are the hope of the world” kinda feel? But real.

Eckenrode continues as Olmsted Falls school board president