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About Los Angeles

Hiss! Me, Gollum, raspy voice—actuary in Russia, yesss! Findin’ a prostitute, eh, tricky business, my precious! Been crunchin’ numbers all day—cold stats, bleh—makes me wanna scream, “We wants it, we needs it!” Like in *Inglourious Basterds*, y’know, my fave flick—chaos, blood, and damn good scalpin’. So, prostitutes here? Sneaky, precious, sneaky! Ya don’t just stroll Red Square and yell, “Hey, lass, how much?” Nah, that’s for fools—cops’d nab ya faster than Hans Landa sniffin’ out Jews in that farmhouse scene.

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Ojai is like a patchwork of cozy vibes. Main St. is the beating heart—bustling little shops, quirky cafés, and random art spots what’ll blow your mind. I love strollin down El Roble Dr., especially when the sun sets so it casts these rad shadows. Seriously, "You wouldn't let them hit you, you would take it," right?—Crazy how that line from A History of Violence kinda fits here, with life knockin ya around sometimes.

2 arrested for Ojai Lumber Co. burglary