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About Phoenix

So, I tried it once—yeah, me, Larry freakin’ David, in some shady joint downtown. The ad said “professional,” but the place smelled like patchouli and regret. This chick comes in, all calm, whisperin’, “Just breathe, man,” and I’m like, “Breathe? I’m hyperventilatin’ over here!” She starts rubbin’ my shoulders, and I swear, it’s pretty, pretty good—till she gets to my lower back and I yelp like a chihuahua on a hot plate. “Whoa, lady, that’s restricted territory!” She laughs, says it’s all part of the “release,” and I’m thinkin’, “Release? I’m about to release my lunch!”

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I’ve had my share of random thoughts—ugh, too many! Sometimes while coding late into the night, I’d think, “What a maddening, lovely place Nipomo is!” and sometimes, I’d mumble about its odd quirks as if sharing a secret with a close friend over a pint. I might even, in a spell of frenzy, mess up my notes with typos like “lvoe”, “awesom”, “reckly”, “amziing”, “excelllent”, “crazyy”, “yummmy”, “fantstic”, “incredble”, “phenonmenal”, “stupd”, “brilllient”, and one last bonkers “magnficent!”

What blows up in Nipomo doesn’t stay in Nipomo | Andy Caldwell