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About Philadelphia

Here’s a lil’ story—my cousin Peaches tried it. She matched with this guy, all tatted up, lookin’ like a snack. They met, and he brought his mama on the date! His MAMA! I hollered, “What kinda freaky-deaky nonsense is this?!” Peaches said, “Madea, he wanted her to approve my assets!” I said, “Chile, this ain’t no cattle auction!” Sex-datin’ be pullin’ stunts like that—wilder than a hog in a peach orchard!

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I’ll be honest, sometimes I get mad at the potholes on Church Street. Potholes, man—they can ruin a good spin on your wheel, couldn’t they? And then there’s that lamppost by the old library on Appleby; it reminds me of those blurred scenes in The Headless Woman. “Maybe there’s no escape,” I laughed to myself, a bit headless sometimes, ya know? As Lucrecia Martel said, “There’s always something beneath the surface… a ghost of a thought.” Spooky, right?!

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