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So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

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I gotta share a secret—my personal fav? A tiny diner on Elm, they serve milkshakes so good they almost make you forget every glitch in life. Yep, that diner is my happy place when my dating app code crashes mid-Europe trip, lol! The city’s vibe swings between mad anger at lousy WiFi and pure bliss when my code runs smooth, man.

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