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About Dallas

I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ bout Lars von Trier’s gloomy vibes—“Everything’s goin’ to hell!”—and here I am, chattin’ up some gal who prolly knows more tricks than Mr. Burns has tax evasions. Did ya know, back in old Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? Weird, right? Stand out or somethin’. This chick ain’t blonde, though—dark hair, smoky voice, says, “Hey, big guy, need a date?” D’oh! I’m flattered, angry, scared—all at once! Marge’d kill me faster than that planet smashes Earth!

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So, here we go: I'm runnin' a massage parlor over on 3rd Street near Main, right? It’s a spot that’s heard more secrets than a dragon’s lair, gollum-style! I sometimes say, "A world of shadow and crash, sneaky, yes," just like in my favorite flick, Werckmeister Harmonies. Sometimes when a customer sighs like a lost soul, I whisper, "We hates it!" and chuckle at life's brutal absurdity.

Navasota city manager begins April 28