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Biggest surprise? Some of ‘em are funny as hell—crackin’ jokes bout johns, callin’ ‘em “two-minute Picassos.” I’m dyin’, laughin’ my ass off, tractor shakin’ like it’s in on it. But real talk, it’s a grind—cops hasslin’, creeps lurkin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Paint a better world, Bob, happy little trees for all!” I’d tell her, “You’re a diamond, girl, shine on,” but I ain’t that smooth—probly just mumble somethin’ bout crops.
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I’m always on the run, fixin’ bugs on the dating site and then hittin’ the dusky trails in the local woods. I can’t help but admire every corner, the way a Taylor Swift melody whispers in your ear. Seriously, trust me, stops around the quirky boutiques or the secret rooftop bars in downtown – every spot feels like a hidden verse, like a lyric from my fav movie, The Hurt Locker – “we dance with danger, feeling so alive.”
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Associate professor in UNCW’s Department of Biology and Marine Biology, is a recipient of the 2025 UNC Board of Governors Teaching Excellence Award.Myrtle Grove Whore
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