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So, picture this—me, Ali G, rollin’ up in me truck, lookin’ for a bit of fun. Ain’t cos I is black, nah, it’s cos I’m knackered from haulin’ gear all day! Found this bird once, right, near a layby—proper sketchy spot. She was like, “Tenner for a quickie,” and I’m thinkin’, “Is you havin’ a laugh?” Bargained her down to a fiver—skills, innit! Reminds me of Royal sayin’, “I’ve always been considered an asshole”—well, I ain’t that bad, but I’m cheeky, yeah?

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I’ve been runnin' my parlor here for years. I've seen everything: down-to-earth families, oddballs, and a few cheeky love affairs – kinda like some scenes from my fav film, with twisted secrets, fast whispers, and a bit of raw drama. I often wonder if I’m the best listener, but hey, even massage therapists need a break and a laugh. Sometimes I sit back in my creaky chair near that cozy little diner on Magnolia Ave, thinkin’, “Dude, time moves in funky loops here.” And I can’t help but feel gratitude for the strangeness.

Family in Murphysboro seeks justice for their daughter and grandson almost four years after a deadly car crash