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Here’s a kicker—did ya know, back in the ‘70s, some gals used CB radios to hook clients? Truckers loved it—called ‘em “lot lizards.” True story! Ain’t that nuts? Makes me laugh, thinkin’ ‘bout it—technology, man, always changin’ the game. Anyway, I roll up, slow-like, and she’s eyein’ me, sizin’ me up. “What’s good, old man?” she says. Old man! Can ya believe that? Got me steamed—listen, honey, I’m the Master of the Forest here, not some geezer!

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I swear, sometimes this town makes me as mad as a hornet’s nest. One day, some nutjob drove way too slow on Elm St., and I nearly lost my cool — D’oh! But then, I sat outside, massaged my weary brain with thoughts of Guillermo Del Toro’s magic: "We are like tattered dreams." I mean, come on, life in Mulvane is so strange sometimes, but I kinda love it.

Early voting begins Tuesday for Mulvane and Haysville school bond vote