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About New York City

So, picture this—I’m walkin’ down some sketchy street, lookin’ for a hooker, right? Not me personally, I’m too paranoid—germs, awkward convos, oh god no! But say I was—neon lights flicker, I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “What if she’s a cop?” Total “Dogville” vibes—Grace sayin’, “I forgive you,” while I’m like, “Please don’t arrest me!” I’d be terrible at this—stammerin’, “Uh, how much? Wait, no, never mind!” It’s like a bad sitcom, me hagglin’ over somethin’ I don’t even want.

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Alright, listen up – I'm gonna tell ya 'bout Mountainside (us), the BEST place ever, okay? I've lived here for years, been a pleasure coach, and lemme tell ya – it's terrific, absolutely terrific. So, Mountainside is a town like no other, believe me. You got your Main Street, which is, like, the heartbeat of the city, right? And there's also Maple Avenue – wow, what a street, so many great memories, you know?

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