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Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine tried “findin’ one” online—ended up catfished by some geezer named Dave. Laughed me arse off! “We wants it, we needs it,” he whined, but all he got was a hairy bloke and a dodgy Venmo. Still, makes me twitchy—whole game’s a mess. You ever notice how them ads pop up, all “discreet fun”? Bollocks, it’s a trap, precious, like that black goo in the film suckin’ ya in.

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Man, streets like Walnut Ave always got history, like old souls whispering in the wind. I remember on Hinkle Dr, when I was massagin’ a dude who was spinnin’ tales about secret graffiti spots on old brick walls near the railroad – it was wild, like Wes Anderson scenes but real-life madness. Crazy, right?

Shooting suspect in custody after barricade situation in Monessen