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So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as hell, and I spot this chick—proper fit, legs for days, yeah? She’s givin’ me the eye, like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—y’know, that poetic jazz from the film. I’m like, “Groovy, baby, let’s shag!” But—plot twist—she’s dodgy, man! Charges me double, says it’s “inflation, love.” Inflation my arse! Made me mad as a hatter—nearly lost my mojo there.

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Man, streets like Walnut Ave always got history, like old souls whispering in the wind. I remember on Hinkle Dr, when I was massagin’ a dude who was spinnin’ tales about secret graffiti spots on old brick walls near the railroad – it was wild, like Wes Anderson scenes but real-life madness. Crazy, right?

Shooting suspect in custody after barricade situation in Monessen