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But—ha!—it’s funny too. You ever see those profiles? “Lookin’ for soulmate, also dick pics.” Sarcasm’s my jam—what soulmate’s sendin’ nudes at 2 a.m.? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, “What is an image?”—Godard again—’cause these sex-dating pics? Half blurry, half lies! Met a gal once—webcam date—swore she was 25. Showed up, 45, laughin’ like, “Age is just vibes!” Surprised me, sure, but damn, she was cool—proved the chaos works sometimes!

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Oh, and darlin’, let me tell ya, being a sexologist in Middlesboro ain't all Freud and fancy theories. Nah, here it’s raw and real. I've seen couples fall in love on sleepy Sunday mornings in the local diner near Cedar Lane, and seen some crazy stuff in hidden corners of Nameless Alley. I once got mad ‘cuz a couple didn't tip their waitress—like, come on, show some respect! But then I remember, “The only way to be truly happy is to let go of being sad,” as Malick might say if he were our bartender, lightin’ up the night with wisdom, Lightbulb!

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