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About Philadelphia

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s some damn art project. I’m a texture artist, see, so I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this gritty, raw vibe—like the streets in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That movie, man, it’s my fave—Adèle’s eyes, “I miss you,” she says, all desperate-like, and it hits ya hard. That’s the kinda feel I’m chasin’ here—somethin’ real, somethin’ messy.

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Ah, thou noble friend, prithee, hearken to my tale of Mercerville (us)! Aye, this fair city, where I've sired my humble massage parlor, is filled with quirks, wonders, and secrets unbeknownst to many. Thou must wander down Mainstreet – yes, Mainstreet, where all souls do pass – and thou shalt spy on the bustling bazaar of the town!

Randall Stoy Obituary (2020) - Mercerville, NJ - The Times of Trenton