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Apps these days – sex on tap! Grindr, Bumble, Hinge – pick yer poison. Little known fact: Romans did it too! Orgies, mate, *bacchanalia* – proper shag-fests! Tinder’s just modern toga parties, yeah? *Carpe diem*, seize the day, or night! This one time, geezer sends me a dodgy pic – cock out, no warnin! Laughed me arse off, then blocked him. "Memory’s a wonderful thing," says Celine in the movie – wish I could unsee that!

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The neighborhoods? They’re like chapters in some sordid, twisted saga. West Mercer, all sleek and suburban, with glammed up houses and manicured lawns that look like they were designed by a perfectionist—only the pretentious would call that “ideal”. East Mercer feels more raw; it got scars and stories, kinda like me before I figured out my path. And hey, there’s a bit of mysterious allure to places like Wayzata and 136th Ave SE—you never know what lurks behind the neat facades.

Mercer Island City Council honors Jacobson at meeting