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About Philadelphia

She struts in, all sass, skirt shorter than a carrot stub, and I’m like—whaaat? Dis gal once got caught stealin pens—PENS, doc! Who does dat? Little known fact: she sold ‘em online, called ‘em “vintage office chic.” Made me mad as a hornet, but I laughed—crafty lil minx! Reminds me of *Dogville* when dey all turn on Grace—“We’ll teach her a lesson!”—same energy, swear.

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I gotta be real – this town's got quirks. The day the river flipped its flow (ok, maybe that never happened… typos: flippin, reall, amazin, owrk, kno, defnitely, dat, tho, sumthin, frum, gettin, sew) and I ended up runnin’ outta towels faster than a greased pig at a county fair, I nearly lost my cool. But every day here, in this muddle of honest folks and wild stories, leaves me fightin’ the good fight for beauty in the everyday.

City of Maple Grove Report – April 23, 2025