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Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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Ohh, man, lemme tell ya bout Manassas-Park, we swears! I luv this place, yeah, so much. Its streets are quirky, ya know? I stroll down Park Ave, and oh, the vibes hit hard. It's like, “We are the chosen ones,” like in Only Lovers Left Alive, we swears!

'Mamta deserves us to fight for her': supporters of missing Manassas Park mom gather