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I tried it once, alright? Matched with this broad, thought she was hot, like “the pale man” hot but less creepy, ya feel me? We’re chattin’, she’s all flirty, sayin’ she’s into “adventures.” I’m thinkin’, great, I’ll be her freakin’ captain! Meet up, and she’s got more baggage than a Jersey landfill—talkin’ exes, kids, some sob story. I’m like, “Ofelia didn’t sign up for this crap!” Made me wanna whack somethin’, I swear. Sex-dating ain’t no fairy tale, capisce?

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Oh, and did I mention those small dive joints on Short Street? Yeah, baby, where the booze flows and the date ideas come alive! I once met a rad artist there, who told me "Life is like a bowl of cherries, sweet and sometimes sour!" I nearly spat my drink – so unexpected!

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