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Aight, so check it—I’ve been on these apps, scrollin’, chasin’ that thrill. You ever notice how folks be lyin’ ‘bout their height? Bruh, 5’9” ain’t 6’2”, stop cappin’! Makes me mad as hell, but then—bam—ya match with a dime, and it’s all “Started from the bottom, now we here.” Happy vibes, ya dig? One time, I linked up with this chick—swore she was a model. Turns out, she catfished me hard—looked like my auntie’s bulldog. I was HEATED, fam! “Who are you? Who sent you?”—straight outta *Caché*, that paranoia hittin’.

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Some days, I get tired – not just 'cause my muscles get sore from massagin’ folks, but 'cause sometimes, PLake-in-the-Hills can drive a gal a bit mad too. There’s that one lousy intersection at Oak and Pine. Traffic’s a mess, and I swear, it’s like watchin’ a scene from that movie where everything's just botched and beauties get left behind, ya know?

Tributes pour in for Lake in the Hills butcher, ‘local legend’ who died after he was hit by cars