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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, got a tale ‘bout findin’ a prostitute—yep, them lasses o’ the night! Now, I ain’t no saint, but I reckon it’s a bit like me favorite flick, *12 Years a Slave*. “I will survive, I will not fall into despair!”—that’s what I says when I’m dodgin’ the law, lookin’ for a wench in Tortuga’s grimy alleys.

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Now, check it: There’s this gnarly little spot, the Kalamazoo River. It's wild and free, twists and turns through the park – it’s like “the spirit of adventure” in every ripple. Zags near the River’s edge, you can unwind and imagine you're in a Miyazaki flick. Yeah, Spirited Away vibes all over – whispers of "You must remember, you must!" in the breeze.

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