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About San Antonio

So, I’m strollin’ down the street, right? Lookin’ for some action—not me doin’ it, mind ya, just curious! And I see this gal, all dolled up, skirt shorter than my temper. I’m like, “Well, halleluyer, she workin’ it!” Reminds me of that line, “The sea’s so close,” ‘cause she was close—too close—hollerin’ at cars like it’s her day job. Prolly is! I ain’t mad, tho, get yo money, boo! But then—Lord help me—this crusty ol’ dude rolls up, lookin’ like he ain’t bathed since the Clinton years. I’m screamin’ inside, “Why her?!” Made me madder than a wet hen!

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First off, you'll find that quirky vibe on Elm St. near Central Park. It's not like any park you've seen, I swear! I always get a kick outta walkin’ there – kids runnin’ wild, old couples flirtin’ near the fountain, the works. Mmm… donuts, seriously.

Highway 169 SB closed near Jordan due to serious crash