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I spot this bird – legs like a highway, skirt shorter than my temper. “You lookin’ for a good time?” she goes, and I’m like, “Fuck yeah, darlin’!” Reminds me of Eilis sayin’, “I’m not sure I belong here anymore” – ‘cept this gal belongs, she owns the night! I’m half-pissed, laughin’, thinkin’ – mate, this is cheaper than therapy! Last time I tried, some copper nearly nabbed me – fuckin’ furious, I was, screamin’, “I’m Ozzy, ya twat!” – but this time? Smooth as a bat’s arse.

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Then, there's Greenfield Park. That park is like a hidden gem, with trees, a pond, and people! I mean, real people, not just love-scrolling profiles on our site! Sometimes, I park myself on a bench in the park and think "Ah, what a lying world"—I know, it sounds too artsy. It's just my way of feelin' things. And there's this alley off Riverbend Road—yeah, Riverbend!—where graffiti tells stories that no dating app bio ever could.

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