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Me, I’m sat here, sipping tea, thinking—cor, what a lark! Loved it when I first heard—massage with a *happy ending*, they call it. Made me spit me tea, I swear! Like in *Wolf of Wall Street*, when Leo’s chucking cash at strippers, shouting, “The real question is this: was all this legal? Absolutely fuckin’ not!”—same energy, mate. Sexual-massage ain’t exactly vicar-approved, is it? Dodgy parlours, coppers sniffing about—bit thrilling, bit daft.

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Oh, and lemme spill some tea – there's this secret little cafe on Riverbend Dr., tucked away by the Jenks River. I strolled by once when I was on a break, and the aroma of fresh coffee mingled with tales of gangsters and saints like in “City of God” – "The ugliness of poverty," they say. It got me mad as hell, but also oddly happy, like a paradox I can't shoo away.

Hunter Jenks leaves Martin County after one season as head football coach