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So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

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Look, life's messy, and so is dating. I code while pondering life's absurdities daily. My work has shown me humans are delightfully complex, and if there’s one thing I’ve picked up, it’s that beauty and decay walk hand in hand here, as if scripted by Ceylan himself— "the earth does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." Oh, by the way, don’t go by trusting street legends—in this town, even the GPS lies.

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